I watched it as it began to beat slower,
I watched it as the color began to change from cherry blossoms to black and blue bruises.
I watched her eyes.
I watched them as they became less like the summer sky.
And more like the faded pavement in the winter.
I watched her wear his t shirts to bed,
Trying to hold on to every last part of him.
Trying to breathe in his smell.
Trying to feel him.
I watched her smile slowly shatter,
I watched her small body crack like glass,
I watched her heart break like mine did.
I watched her miss him,
I watched her want him,
Crave him.
But he was gone.
I remember the first time you left me.
It was around thanksgiving.
I remember my mom asking me what I was thankful for,
And I remember thinking nothing.
I remember feeling nothing,
And everything all at once.
I remember the day my smile cracked.
The day my body shattered.
I remember the day my heart turned into black and blue bruises.
All because of you.
But I still miss you every single day.
And I still want you every single day.
And I still crave you every night at around 9 pm.
But you're gone.
And so is he.
I hope that he comes back for her.
I hope he comes running.
Because watching her suffer,
Watching her bleed,
Watching her melt
Reminds me of how I felt.
Nothing.
And everything
all at once.
